This story was created by Cl0vis15:
(Please note that this takes place after Meryl realizes that Vash is who he says he is, but before they meet Wolfwood. Also, if you’re watching the legal copies of Trigun instead of illegal ones, you don’t even know who Wolfwood is because Volume 3 hasn’t been released yet.)
(Show scene of a cliff overlooking a city. A man walks up to the cliff’s edge and stares down at the city below. On each hand he is wearing a boxing glove. He is also wearing one of those bathrobe like jackets that boxers wear. On the back of it is written the name ‘Jerome’ in block lettering. Behind him stand two thugs.)
JEROME: Ah Vash, so at long last I catch up with you. You two are to find Vash and bring him to me.
THUG-1: If he’s in there, we’ll find him and bring him back!
THUG-2: Why do you want him boss? You’re rich, you don’t need a Sixty Billion Double Dollar reward! What has he ever done to you?
JEROME: In the ring I am the greatest the universe has ever seen. (Jerome poses as the background changes to one of a boxing ring, Jerome stops posing and the boxing ring disappears.) Yet I am not the greatest man alive, they claim this Vash can destroy entire cities single handedly. If I am to be the greatest man alive, I must beat such a man! Now go, I’m not paying you by the hour y’know!
(Cut to scene of a western-ish looking restaurant. Inside sitting at a table is Vash and Milly.)
VASH: Can’t I have any privacy, don’t you ever go to sleep?
MILLY: As official agents of the Bernardelli Insurance agency we have been assigned to keep…
VASH (In a whiny tone): Don’t give me the speech again! (Normal voice) I’ve heard it a hundred times by now, the company you work for is mad that they have to shell out money to the cities that happen to get damaged when I’m in them. You’re supposed to keep me out of trouble.
MILLY: Please don’t sound so mean about it Vash. Meryl told me to keep an eye on you while she wrote up the report to send back to our boss.
(Cut to scene of Meryl and Milly’s apartment at the local inn. Meryl is sitting at a desk diligently typing away at a typewriter as she writes up the current report on their mission to keep Vash from causing liability damage. As she typed, she spoke what she typed.)
MERYL: …So I end this report saying that although we have finally identified the legendary gunman, known as Vash the Stampede, I would like to say from personal observation that he causes very little property damage himself. He does however get himself into numerous situations in which others cause property damage while trying to kill him and collect the reward on his head.
(Meryl pulled the paper out of the typewriter and put in an envelope for mailing later on. She then put the typewriter in her suitcase, which was sitting to the right of the desk.)
MERYL: I wonder if it was such a good idea to leave Milly in charge of watching Vash. I’d better go check on her, I just hope he hasn’t gotten away already. He’s such a pain to have to repeatedly track down. That, and we look bad when we fail to stop him from causing damage. (sigh) I still can’t believe that such an utter idiot like him is actually Vash.
(Fade back to the restaurant. When Meryl walks in, neither Milly nor Vash are there. Meryl watches as Milly walks into the restaurant carrying a box of donuts.)
MILLY: Vash, I’m back. Uh, Vash? Where’d he go now?
MERYL (screaming): Milly, I can’t believe you let him out of your site! Now he’s gone and we’ll have to find him again! What do you have to say for yourself?
MILLY (on the verge of crying): I’m sorry Meryl. Vash gave me ten double dollars and told me that if I bought a box of donuts he’d share them with me! He said he’d wait here while I went and bought them. (Milly breaks out crying) I’m so sorry!.
MERYL: Milly, please don’t cry. People are starting to stare at us! Now c’mon, let’s hurry up and go find Vash before anything gets destroyed.
(Fade to scene of Vash running down a street of the town.)
VASH (ecstatic voice): Oh man! I thought I’d never lose her! Now all I have to do is find a bar and relax! (Vash stops suddenly and looks to the right) What the?
(A man is standing on top of a building holding what appears to be a rocket launcher. He is pointing it downwards at Vash.)
THUG-1: Ah, so there you are Vash! Jerome will pay me well when I bring you in!
(The man pulls the trigger on the launcher and a net flies out. Vash back flips out of the net’s way. The net instead raps itself around a black cat that just happened to be walking by at that moment.)
VASH: Is that the best you’ve got? I really don’t want to fight you, so can we talk about this over a drink? I’m willing to buy and… OUCH! (Vash feels the back of his neck to find a dart sticking out of it.) Why do I feel so tired all of a sudden.
(Another man walks out of an alley behind Vash holding a dart gun.)
THUG-2: The great Vash the stampede shot in the back of the neck, pity that wasn’t real ammo instead of just a sleeping dart. I personally think the boss is a little daft wanting to meet you and all, but that really doesn’t matter. Like it or not you’re coming with us.
VASH (trying to hold gun straight as he points it at the man with the dart gun) : I’m not going with anyone, you should all know better than to pick a fight with the great Vash the… (passes out and collapses as the sleeping dart takes full effect.)
(Fade to a scene of Vash sleeping on a bed. Standing next to the bed is Jerome)
JEROME: Wake up Vash! Or do you prefer Vash the Stampede as the media prefers to call you?
VASH (incoherent): Mommy, I don’t wanna ride the marry-go-round!
JEROME (screaming): I said, “WAKE UP!!!”
(Vash jolts to a sitting up position in bed.)
VASH: I’m up already… wait a second. How’d I get here?
JEROME: You’re here because I wanted you here! Despite what all the movies say, good help is actually very findable these days. You’ve probably heard of me before, in the ring I’m known as (Jerome makes the same pose seen earlier in the story) “BOXING GLOVES JEROME!”. (pose ends) I’ve defeated every single man I met in the ring, and now I challenge you to a boxing match.
VASH (whiney voice): Can’t this wait? I was on the way to the bar to get a drink! If I take the time to fight you, those insurance girls will find me again before we’re done. They’re no fun, and they follow me everywhere!
JEROME: If these women are that annoying, I’m surprised you haven’t just killed them. That sixty billion double dollar bounty on your head isn’t there for nothing. So tell me, who was your first kill?
VASH: To be honest, I don’t believe in killing. I believe a gun is a tool, and when used properly can get the job done without causing someone’s death.
JEROME: I don’t have time for this. Just get in the ring behind me and put on the boxing gloves you find there. Oh, and don’t mind the man with video camera, he’s from pay-per-view. People are gonna pay a lot of money to see the galaxy famous boxer beat the crap out of the legendary “Vash the Stampede”.
VASH (scared half to death): Can’t we work something out? I don’t know how to box!
JEROME: Well then, I guess my fists are about to give you a crash course!
(Fade to a scene outside the building that houses the boxing ring. Meryl and Milly stand outside the building exhausted from having searched all over town for Vash.)
MERYL: I guess we’re going to have to face the harsh reality, he jumped town without us. (Looks over to Milly) Have you been carrying that box of donuts with you the whole time?
MILLY: Technically Vash paid for them, so I thought that maybe he’d be hungry and want them when we found him.
(At this moment in time both Meryl and Milly turn as they hear a scream come from within the boxing ring coliseum standing to the right of them.)
VASH: Hey! Could you try to not hit me so hard when you do that?
MERYL (excited): He hasn’t left the town yet. This will assuredly save us the time it would’ve taken to figure what City he might be heading for next.
MILLY: He didn’t sound too happy Meryl. Do you think he’s in trouble?
(Fade to scene of the boxing ring. Jerome hits Vash with an uppercut. Vash stumbles backwards into the ropes.)
JEROME: You might be an ace gunman, but you’re on heck of a lousy boxer. Guess I might as well finish you off here. For a pay-per-view fight this is all kind of disappointing!
(Meryl and Milly come running in.)
MILLY: Leave him alone!
JEROME: Hey you two, get out of here. If you want to see this fight, then you’ll have to buy it on pay-per-view later on like everyone else. (Turning back to Vash) Now where was I? Oh yes, I’m about to throw the punch to end your miserable little life. You’re gonna die like the loser you are!
(Milly pulls out a giant chain gun from under her dress. Now you might ask how she could even conceal a giant chain gun under her dress. Just remember, this is anime, and in anime women can carry anything under their dress. She pulls the trigger of the chain gun and a long tube shoots out. The tube split open to form a metal cross. This cross was designed not to hurt someone, but to knock them down. The cross knocks Jerome clean out of the ring when it hits him. A referee runs over to Jerome and begins to count.)
REFEREE: 7… 8… 9… 10! The winner by KO is Vash the Stampede.
VASH: Uh… Well, I’d just like to remind everyone watching this on pay-per-view something we must never forget! (Makes peace sign with right hand) This world is made of “Love and Peace!” Everybody repeat it with me now, Love and Peace, Love and Peace, Love and Peace.
(Fade back to a scene of the restaurant. Vash, Meryl and Milly are all sitting at the same table. Vash is stuffing himself with donuts from the box that Milly had bought earlier.)
VASH: I’m really grateful for you saving me back there and all. Is there any way I can repay you?
MERYL: Actually there is. How about you stop trying to run away from us every chance you get, that would make our jobs infinitely easier! How about it?
VASH (holding crossed fingers behind his back): Uh, okay. I guess it’s the least I can do.
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